Posts

 hey so this past week or whatever hasn't been great ngl. I am away with my family for my mum's 50th and it is so much social interaction I just feel so numb now and it is the absolute worst, and just to top it off someone I used to be best friends with is like making an effort in terms of him but not anyone else. altho tbf he makes it so difficult to be friends with him, he is heavily addicted to drugs, yet he says he isn't. I used to stay up until 7am after him taking 13 pingers just to make sure he doesn't die through the night, but I really care about him and want to make sure he is ok but idk if it is too much for me yk. ahh I can't Jesus lord, and cause its my mums 50th I will have to act happy or I will ruin it for her and my ad will get pissed. please someone come save me from this hell, and when I say save I mean kill lol. joking dwwwwww altho am I, yes, no hahaha. oh well I will be ok in the end just gotta push through anyways bye
 so I had work yesterday and today, both were good but I am actually dead now soooooo. I still have coursework to finish but I will do that in my free tomorrow  and I also have therapy tomorrow. My boyfriend's birthday is on Saturday so I really hope I can get the day off work, I will be quite upset if I can't, especially with everything he has to go through with his family being so religious. I mean as I write this he just told me they are singing hymns downstairs!!! like lord give it a rest. anyway I just want to be there for him you know. and my mums birthday is coming up and we are going to the Lake District so that should be nice but tiring for me cause it will be a lot of socialising over half term week I honestly don't know how im going to cope, buttttt only one week left of school before half term which is very good so yay, anyways im gonna go bye
 um so it has been a couple of days since my last post annnnnddddd um I kinda failed psychology and biology a level mock and cried at work cause my boss had a massive argument with some of her staff and kicked them out the pub and for some reason that made me cry. oh well to be fair it was very busy and I had had a really rough shift and I think it was just the icing on the cake. I also don't do well with arguing either I never have it always really really upsets me I can lie. it might be cause of how loud it is I don't know but yeh im fine now which is good. try tired that is currently 1;40 am I finished work at 12am and I have to be back up to work at 12pm ahhhhhh. honestly save me from thus hell Alright  bye
 hi, I decided to start this kind of as a diary cause my therapist said its good. thinking about it I kinda don't want anyone to read it, but I think it will help me categorise my thoughts. I don't know but I might as well try lol. so first off I have actually been doing quite well recently, cut down smoking, having showers every day and stuff until today aha. I had to come home from school early cause I had a panic attack. I think where I went wrong was that I thought I was completely better when I might actually not be... buttttttt am I gonna accept that I still have issues, probs not cause where is the fun in that. altho I kinda am accepting an issue with this which is good.  anyways gonna go now  as a side note please mind spelling I am dyslexic  byeeee